Why Do We Need to Speak Directly to People with Disabilities?

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Understanding the Experience of Wheelchair Users: A Personal Account

When navigating life in a wheelchair, many individuals face challenges that extend beyond physical barriers. The experience can often highlight societal attitudes toward disability, and how these perceptions shape everyday interactions. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we can better understand the reality faced by wheelchair users and the importance of inclusive communication.

The Journey Begins: A Life Altered

My life took an unexpected turn when I became a mother at 21. The joy of motherhood quickly transformed into a battle against excruciating hip pain, prompting me to seek help from my GP. Little did I know that it would take three long years to discover that I had been living with hip dysplasia all my life—a condition that shapes the very structure of my hips and had gone undiagnosed.

The pain escalated, forcing me to use ambulatory aids before I even received my diagnosis in January 2016. Major reconstructive surgery was necessary, but with long waiting lists, I gradually became more reliant on my wheelchair. My first surgery occurred in July 2018, followed by a second in August 2020. The challenges of recovery were compounded by the fact that the surgeries could only be performed on one hip at a time, resulting in a prolonged healing process.

Living as an Ambulatory Wheelchair User

Today, I identify as an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk to some extent, but my needs vary significantly. The past seven years spent in a chair have opened my eyes to the everyday exclusion that disabled individuals face. I have become passionate about advocacy for inclusion, recognizing how essential it is for society to acknowledge the presence and capabilities of wheelchair users.

Everyday Encounters: The Struggle for Recognition

One particular experience stands out during a day trip to a castle with my partner, Bryan. Each time we approached a member of staff, they would address him instead of me. The unspoken assumption was that, because he was standing, he was the one with authority. In their eyes, I was merely a passenger—an inconvenience rather than an individual deserving of attention and respect.

More recently, I traveled to America and encountered particularly dehumanizing treatment at a London airport. At various points, I was abandoned in a terminal. Airport staff informed me that "other people needed the airport wheelchair more than me," leaving me sitting and shivering in front of an open door for half an hour. It felt as though I was treated like baggage rather than a person eager to enjoy the amenities of the airport.

The Impact of Being Ignored

Experiences like these chip away at one’s confidence and self-belief. Being consistently overlooked can lead to feelings of invisibility and helplessness. However, a pivotal moment occurred on October 21, 2020, when I decided to reclaim control over my life. Through therapy, coaching, and hard-fought lessons, I learned the importance of speaking up for myself.

Reframing the Wheelchair Experience

With the support of a friend, I redefined how I perceive my wheelchair. She encouraged me to view it as my "Beyoncé pass"—a tool that empowers me to navigate the world with confidence. Now, if I found myself in the same situation at the shop today, I would smile and assertively say, "Hi – I’m the one paying, thanks."

Addressing the Fear Surrounding Disability

A significant aspect of the discomfort surrounding interactions with disabled individuals stems from fear. Many people worry about saying the wrong thing, leading to silence and exclusion. However, this discomfort is detrimental; it fosters an environment of invisibility for individuals in wheelchairs. What we need is not special treatment but basic respect and acknowledgment.

Simple Solutions for Inclusion

There are straightforward steps that everyone can take to foster inclusion and respect for wheelchair users:

• Speak Directly: Always address the person in the wheelchair, not the individual pushing it.
• Ask Questions: Inquire about how you can help rather than assuming what is needed.
• Be Mindful: Recognize that wheelchair users are capable individuals with their own voices and experiences.

The Reality of Wheelchair Users

Wheelchair users are not invisible; we are capable individuals deserving of respect and acknowledgment. By shifting the narrative and changing how we interact, society can create a more inclusive environment for everyone. It's time to recognize the abilities of individuals with disabilities and to advocate for a world where everyone feels seen and heard.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the experience of being a wheelchair user?

The experience of being a wheelchair user can vary significantly. Many individuals encounter challenges related to accessibility, communication, and societal attitudes. Often, wheelchair users are overlooked in social situations, leading to feelings of invisibility.

How can I support a person in a wheelchair?

To support a person in a wheelchair, consider speaking directly to them, asking how you can help, and being mindful of their needs. It’s important to treat them with respect and dignity, just as you would with anyone else.

What are some common misconceptions about wheelchair users?

Common misconceptions about wheelchair users include the belief that they are incapable of doing things independently or that they require constant assistance. In reality, many wheelchair users lead active and fulfilling lives, often needing only occasional support.

The journey of a wheelchair user is marked by challenges, resilience, and a desire for recognition. As we work toward a more inclusive society, let’s challenge our perceptions and strive for a world where everyone is seen and valued. What steps can you take to ensure you are recognizing the abilities and voices of those around you? #InclusionMatters #DisabilityAwareness #RespectAll

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