Why Are More Mothers Killed by Their Sons Than Strangers?

This article discusses alarming findings from the Femicide Census, revealing that more women were killed by their sons than by strangers in 2022. The report highlights the underreported issue of violence against women, particularly the violence mothers face from their sons, and points to systemic failures in support services for affected families.

Last updated: 30 October 2023 (BST)

Understanding the Latest Findings on Violence Against Women

The recent report by the Femicide Census has shed light on a troubling trend in violence against women in the UK. In 2022, out of 121 women killed by men, 12 were killed by their sons, while only 11 were killed by someone they did not know. This statistic underscores the need for increased awareness and support for women experiencing violence from their children.

• 12 women were killed by their sons in 2022.
• 11 women were killed by strangers in the same year.
• Most female victims were killed by partners or former partners.
• Systemic failures prevent adequate support for mothers facing abuse from sons.
• The government aims to halve violence against women and girls over the next decade.

Key Insights from the Femicide Census

Dr Karen Ingala Smith, the executive director of the Femicide Census, highlights that for every woman killed by her son, many more endure severe violence and abuse. The report indicates a concerning pattern where mothers suffer in silence, often feeling unheard and unsupported by authorities.

One poignant example comes from a mother in the Midlands who recounted how her son began exhibiting violent behaviour at the young age of 12. Despite repeated pleas for help from social services and police, they felt trapped in a situation with no viable escape. "It wasn't how we'd brought him up. We just didn't know how to get out of it," she said, illustrating the desperation many families face in similar situations.

The Scope of Violence from Sons

The Femicide Census categorises the perpetrators of violence against women, revealing that the majority of female victims were killed by a partner (27), spouse (24), or former partner (10). The statistic that stands out is that 12 women were killed by their sons, a number that raises urgent questions about the nature of familial relationships and the challenges faced by mothers.

The Impact of Underreporting and Misunderstanding

Dr Ingala Smith pointed out that many cases of violence against women do not lead to fatalities, yet they often go unrecognised. Women may not label their experiences as domestic violence or may feel that support services are inadequate. "Too few services recognise the extent and potential severity of son-to-mother violence," she commented, emphasising the need for tailored support.

As the report highlights, many women live in fear of their sons, struggling with the dual challenge of parental love and the need for safety. The government has pledged to address this issue, with Minister for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls, Jess Phillips, describing the situation as a "national emergency." The aim is to halve violence against women and girls over the next ten years, which includes addressing child-to-parent abuse.

Challenges in Support and Intervention

The findings from the Femicide Census reveal a stark reality: many families feel that they are left to navigate these turbulent waters alone. Despite numerous police call-outs and pleas for intervention, one mother reported that the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) refused to prosecute her son due to the belief that it "wasn't in the public interest." This raises significant concerns about the adequacy of the legal framework in addressing domestic violence from minors.

Experiences of Adoptive Families

Adoptive families are particularly vulnerable to these dynamics. Previous data indicated that significantly fewer women were killed by adopted sons compared to biological sons. This disparity, as suggested by Dr Ingala Smith, may be attributed to the perceived bond between biological mothers and their children. She noted, "A biological mother might remain the last person to have your back." This emotional complexity complicates the decision-making process for mothers facing violence.

Several adoptive parents have shared their harrowing experiences of living with violent behaviour from their children. One mother reported being "battered and bruised, threatened with knives," illustrating the extreme conditions some families must endure. Another couple spoke of feeling "completely broken," highlighting the emotional toll such violence takes on families.

Legal and Systemic Gaps in Support Services

The legal framework in England does not currently recognise that children under 16 can exhibit domestic violence, which leaves many families without the necessary support. Calls for reform have emerged, pushing for a change that acknowledges the complexities of child-to-parent abuse. Without a statutory duty to provide assistance, many services can evade responsibility, leaving families feeling isolated and helpless.

Nikki Rutter, a researcher from Durham University, emphasised that intervention often occurs too late, only when situations escalate to crisis levels. "They're dealing with the problem when it reaches crisis, rather than preventing it," she stated, reinforcing the urgent need for early intervention.

The Emotional Toll on Mothers

The emotional strain on mothers facing violence from their sons is immense. One mother shared her experience of having to make the heartbreaking decision to end her adoption of her daughter due to escalating violence. "I dropped her at school and I said goodbye to her," she recalled, a decision that will haunt her for life. She expressed the profound sense of loss and guilt, stating, "I gave up everything in my life for my child, and it wasn't enough."

What Happens Next?

The Femicide Census highlights the urgent need for reforms in how society addresses violence against women, particularly from their own children. With the government's commitment to halve violence against women and girls, there is hope for a future where such crises are met with effective preventative measures and support systems. As the conversation around this issue continues, it is essential to recognise the complexity of familial relationships and the need for tailored support for affected mothers.

FAQs

What is the Femicide Census?

The Femicide Census is a report that tracks and analyses the killings of women by men in the UK, aiming to raise awareness about gender-based violence and its prevalence.

How many women were killed by their sons in 2022?

In 2022, 12 women were killed by their sons, according to the latest report from the Femicide Census.

What support is available for mothers facing violence from their children?

Support for mothers facing violence from their children varies by region and is often inadequate. There is a pressing need for more tailored services that address this specific type of abuse.

Does the law in England recognise domestic violence by children under 16?

No, currently, the law in England does not recognise that children under 16 can exhibit domestic violence, leaving many families without the necessary legal support.

What is being done to address violence against women and girls in the UK?

The UK government has pledged to halve violence against women and girls over the next decade, including addressing child-to-parent abuse and improving support services.