Did the Author of Eat Pray Love Really Plan to Murder Her Partner?

In her new memoir, "All the Way to the River: Love, Loss and Liberation," Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the bestselling "Eat Pray Love," shares a startling confession about her past relationship with Rayya Elias. Gilbert reveals that during a tumultuous period of co-dependency and emotional turmoil, she "fully intended" to kill Elias, who was suffering from terminal cancer. This shocking admission sheds light on the extreme effects of love addiction and mental health struggles, prompting readers to reflect on the complexities of deep emotional bonds.

Last updated: 10 October 2023 (BST)

Key Takeaways

• Elizabeth Gilbert admits to contemplating murder in her new memoir.
• Her relationship with Rayya Elias was marked by extreme co-dependency and drug use.
• Elias suffered from terminal cancer, which added to the strain on their relationship.
• Gilbert has focused on healing since Elias's death in 2018.
• The memoir aims to raise awareness about the dangers of love addiction.

The Rise of Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert became a household name with the release of her memoir "Eat Pray Love," which captivated millions with its themes of self-discovery and healing. The book spent 187 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, with 57 weeks at number one. It has sold over 12 million copies globally and has been translated into 30 languages, further solidifying Gilbert's status as a prominent author.

The success of "Eat Pray Love," which was adapted into a film starring Julia Roberts in 2010, allowed Gilbert to explore deeper themes in her life and relationships. Following her high-profile divorce from Brazilian businessman Jose Nunes in 2016, Gilbert's personal life took a dramatic turn as she began her relationship with Elias, a close friend whom she had known for years.

A Relationship Defined by Co-Dependency

The relationship between Gilbert and Elias quickly intensified, transitioning from friendship to romance shortly after Gilbert's divorce. However, this new relationship was not without its challenges. Gilbert describes a turbulent period marked by co-dependency, emotional strife, and substance abuse, which ultimately led her to consider extreme actions.

Understanding Co-Dependency

Co-dependency is a psychological condition where one person relies excessively on another for their emotional or psychological needs. This often leads to dysfunctional behaviours, unhealthy attachments, and an inability to thrive independently. Gilbert's candid reflection illustrates how co-dependency can skew one’s perception of love and lead to destructive thoughts and actions.

Facing the Dark Side of Love

In an excerpt from her memoir, Gilbert recounts her harrowing thoughts of murder, stating, "I want to make something extremely clear here. When I say that I once planned to murder Rayya, I don’t mean that the idea simply crossed my mind that my life would be easier if she were gone." This statement highlights the depth of her emotional turmoil during their relationship.

The Impact of Substance Abuse

Both Gilbert and Elias struggled with substance abuse, which exacerbated their co-dependency. As Elias battled terminal cancer, she was prescribed opiates to manage her pain. However, Gilbert reveals that these medications were ineffective due to Elias's history as a drug addict. The couple began experimenting with psychedelic mushrooms and MDMA, leading to erratic behaviour and impulsive decisions, including extravagant purchases that strained their finances.

The Descent into Chaos

Their relationship spiralled further out of control as Elias turned to cocaine, a habit largely funded by Gilbert. Amidst this chaos, Gilbert acknowledged that her actions were enabling Elias's addiction. In a moment of desperation, she registered herself as an intravenous drug user to obtain clean needles and assisted Elias in injecting drugs. This dark chapter of their lives showcased the extreme lengths Gilbert was willing to go in the name of love, even as it threatened to destroy both of them.

Plotting the Unthinkable

At her lowest, Gilbert contemplated murdering Elias through an overdose, believing it would free her from the unbearable emotional burden. She recalls the chilling relief this plan brought her, indicating the depth of her despair. "All you have to do is kill her. She’s already dying. You’ll be free," she thought, highlighting the severe toll of mental health struggles intertwined with love addiction.

The Turning Point

Ultimately, a former girlfriend intervened, helping Elias to enter sobriety during her final months. Despite this, the damage had been done. Elias passed away in January 2018, leaving Gilbert to grapple with the aftermath of their relationship and her actions. Gilbert later described Elias's death as "a particularly bad death," a reflection of the chaotic life they shared.

Healing and Moving Forward

In the years following Elias's death, Gilbert rushed into another relationship, which also ended poorly. This cycle prompted her to examine her patterns of love addiction more closely. Since then, she has remained single, focusing on healing and personal growth. Gilbert now embraces a mantra of living "one day at a time," a strategy she hopes will foster peace and stability in her life.

The Importance of Mental Health Awareness

Gilbert's experiences underscore the critical need for mental health awareness, particularly regarding love addiction and co-dependency. By openly discussing her past, she aims to help others who may find themselves in similar situations, emphasising that seeking help is crucial and that one is not alone in their struggles.

Conclusion

Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir "All the Way to the River" serves as a powerful testament to the complexities of love, loss, and the human psyche. Her candid exploration of her darkest moments challenges readers to confront the often-unspoken realities of co-dependency and addiction. As she continues her journey of self-discovery and healing, Gilbert invites us to reflect on the nature of love and the importance of mental well-being.

What lessons can we learn from Gilbert's experiences about the nature of love and the potential consequences of co-dependency? #ElizabethGilbert #LoveAddiction #MentalHealthAwareness

FAQs

What is "All the Way to the River" about?

"All the Way to the River" is Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir that explores her relationship with Rayya Elias, her struggles with love addiction, co-dependency, and the impact of mental health on relationships.

Why did Elizabeth Gilbert consider killing Rayya Elias?

Gilbert admitted to contemplating murder due to extreme emotional turmoil and co-dependency during Elias's terminal illness, reflecting on how love addiction can distort reality and lead to destructive thoughts.

What happened to Rayya Elias?

Rayya Elias was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away in January 2018. Her struggle with addiction and illness significantly impacted her relationship with Gilbert.

How did their substance abuse affect their relationship?

Substance abuse exacerbated their co-dependency, leading to erratic behaviour, financial instability, and ultimately, a toxic environment that contributed to Gilbert's dark thoughts and actions.

What has Elizabeth Gilbert learned since Rayya's death?

Since Elias's death, Gilbert has focused on healing and personal growth, remaining single to better understand her patterns and live by the mantra of taking life one day at a time.